Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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