It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
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She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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