how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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