4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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