Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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