I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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