dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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