Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
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The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
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A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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