Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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