What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
