i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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