This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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