Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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