Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
