he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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