I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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