He uses pillows to masturbate.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
