saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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