I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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