You're completely useless in the revolution.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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