have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
