If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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