i think i have two assholes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My butt remains clenched, sir.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
