All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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