spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
