We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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