Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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