Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
