Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
