3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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