I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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