I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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