This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
