when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
