I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
