I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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