im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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