I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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