I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
