My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize