look no pants
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
why is half of my head shaved?
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