I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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