You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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