Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
