Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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