I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i've created a new STD.
50% drunk capacity currently
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
