A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
