I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
