Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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