I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
