you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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