He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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