Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
