im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
