Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pooping to opera.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
