craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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