Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you had me at cake vodka
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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