What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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