the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
