theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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