Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
