i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
