Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
