bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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