Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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