You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
